Pat Martin
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Drop Dead Legs (and breast and thighs and wings)

2 whole chickens, cleaned and remove gizzard crap! Give a healthy dusting of pepper, paprika, oregano, basil, parsley, and onion powder/salt. (You want the bird to have a nice red/green seasoning color). Then, cover with a nice amount of your favorite Italian dressing, (Good Seasons is awesome!) or extra virgin olive oil. Use your hands to rub in all seasonings and oils… Stuff birds with garlic cloves (10), chopped onion 9about half/red), and pepperoncinis! Place marinated “crows” neck-to-neck.  Cook indirectly for about an hour. If you use a Weber; place coals on left and right (about 20 per side) and the crows in the middle.  Cook for 30 minutes, then give your grate a half turn, and finish for an additional 30 minutes or until the legs slightly tear and drop.  A cup of soaked hickory chips is a nice touch! Let stand for about 30 minutes!  Remove produce, carve and serve.  These chickens make for great sandwiches! As always; plenty of cold beer and dancing naked women with asses like Coco’s or Kim K’s are essential! Eat, Drink, Burp, Fart, Repeat! TDFB
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Bacon Wrapped Meat Loaf

Recipe Below

by: The fanatic

Here is the recipe for my Andria’s style meatloaf: Ingredients: 2lb ground beef 1 cup milk 2 tsp chopped fresh basil ½ tsp sea salt ½ tsp ground mustard ¼ tsp pepper 1 tbsp garlic powder 1 tbsp worcestershire sauce 1 egg ¾ cup of crushed saltine crackers ¼ cup diced onion ½ cup diced green pepper ¼ cup Andria’s steak sauce 14 slices of bacon BBQ sauce Here are the diced peppers, onions and chopped basil: And to make this meatloaf even better…I smoked it wrapped in a bacon weave. You know how it goes, everything is better with bacon. Now, the first task is to mix all of the ingredients together in a bowl except for the bacon and BBQ sauce. Place the raw meatloaf in the refrigerator and get out the bacon. The next step is making the bacon weave. If you have never done this before, you will only need these steps to get the idea: First, lay down 7 strips of bacon vertically, side by side. Second, fold every other bacon strip in half (it does not matter where you begin). Third, take the 8th strip of bacon and lay it across the middle, horizontally over the vertical strips of bacon and just below the bacon folded in half. Make sure the horizontal bacon is real close to the folded strips of bacon. Fourth, unfold the bacon so all vertical strips are in their side by side position. Fifth, fold the opposite strips of bacon up over the horizontal strip of bacon. Sixth, place another horizontal strip of bacon and repeat the process until complete. Now, take the meatloaf and pour it in the center of the bacon weave. Form the “loaf” on top of the bacon. Carefully roll the bacon weave over the meatloaf. While the weave did not come apart during this task, it may have been easier if I would have used saran wrap underneath the bacon weave to roll the bacon over the meatloaf. Make sure the bacon overlaps each other and the ends are rounded off too. ***Editor’s note ~ While that doesn’t look all that cool considering it’s in a bacon weave, realize that the loaf is actually upside down at this point.  The underside of what you see here will be the top of what you cook*** I found that thin slices of bacon work better for this because a thicker cut of bacon would result in a loose weave, which tends to come apart on the grill. Speaking of the grill, I set up my smoker at 230 degrees with cherry and hickory wood chunks. This recipe also works for indirect grilling too. Another thing, I would usually add rub, but I wanted to try without it first to get a taste for the meat and the effect the Andria’s. When the grill is up to temp, I gingerly place the loaf on the grill, opposite of the charcoal. As always, the vents are all the way open on the lid. In addition, the vents are placed directly over the meat to let the smoke pass over the meat and escape out the vents. I do this because trapped smoke can make meat taste bitter. So now it’s time to cover the lid and check on it in an hour. After an hour in the smoker, the bacon has turned a light brown and it has taken the shape of the meatloaf. The bacon weave looks really good right here. I check the water level and add more wood chunks before I put the lid on. I tend to use Scott’s advice to do as much as I can while I have the lid open, so I don’t have open it often and lengthen the cooking process. In another hour the meatloaf will be done. An hour passes and the internal temp of the meatloaf is 173 degrees. Anything over 170 degrees is well done for beef. However, before I plate it, I fire up my gas grill to high heat. For just a few minutes I grill the meatloaf over the hot grill to crisp up the bacon. Otherwise, it comes out of the smoker soft and slightly chewy. In the last minute on the grill, I brush on some BBQ sauce. Now it’s time to plate it. Total cook time was about 2-1/2 hours. This turned out to be my best looking meatloaf. It’s done to perfection and I can’t wait to dig in. Even with the crappy knives I have, the bacon holds intact with a clean slice. It doesn’t tear or pull the rest of the bacon when I cut into the meatloaf. And look at that smoke ring! This was some great BBQ and it was every bit as good the next day when I made a meatloaf sandwich. The Andria’s definitely added some unique flavors. When making your next meatloaf, try it instead of ketchup or BBQ sauce. You may get the pickiest of eaters to actually like something you grilled.
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RED VELVET CAKE

1/2 cup shortening 1 1/2 cups sugar 2 eggs 1 tablespoon cocoa 2  1-oz. bottles red food coloring 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon vanilla 1 cup buttermilk 2 1/2 cups sifted flour 1 1/2 teaspoon baking soda  1/2 teaspoon vinegar Cream shortening and sugar.  Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each.  Make a paste of cocoa and food coloring and stir into creamed mixture.  Mix salt and vanilla with buttermilk. Add this liquid alternately with flour to the creamed mixture.  Blend soda and vinegar.  Fold this mixture into batter (do not beat.)  Turn batter into 2 prepared 8 inch or 9 inch cake pans.   Bake at 350 degrees for about 30 min. (9" pans) or 35-40 min. (8" pans).   Cool, then fill and frost. FROSTING Blend 5 tablespoons flour with 1 cup milk.  Cook into a very thick paste, stirring constantly. Let stand at room temp. until cool, then remove crust.  Measure 1 cup butter, 1 cup sugar and 1 teaspoon vanilla into bowl.  Cream until very light and fluffy.  Gradually add flour milk paste, beat about 10 min. until sugar is completely dissolved and mix is consistency of whipped cream. Listener Recipe!!! Courtesy of Robert Cagley.
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Thanksgiving Recipes

TurKING What you will need: 1-fresh turkey, paprika, extra virgin olive oil, your favorite poultry seasoning/rub, fresh ground pepper, parsley, oregano, basil, peperoncinis, 1-red onion, 10-15 cloves garlic, a charcoal grill, charcoal, hickory chips. (optional - mini carrots) Hopefully your spices are in shakers, it makes it a lot easier. -Clean defrosted bird in warm water and remove ALL gizzards and neck parts. Pat dry and remove water. -Place bird on large tray/pan with breast up. -Cover lightly with a dusting of paprika, you want it LIGHT pink, NOT red! -Cover lightly to heavy with your favorite poultry seasoning/rub. If the rub is salty BE CAREFUL! -Apply a liberal dusting of parsley, and light dustings of oregano and basil. -Dust with fresh ground pepper. -Make sure you cover the entire (exposed) bird with all ingredients. -Lightly pour on your olive oil. Do not drown but lightly pour. You don't want to wash off all the seasoning. Yes, I've tried applying the oil first but it seems to make the bird oilier. Rub in oil covering all areas. -Rinse your hands, they should be greasy-gross by now. -Pour in a light to moderate amount of olive oil in to the "gizzard chute." -Add in a liberal amount of seasoning/rub... -Chop up your red onion; half it, then half that. Depending on bird size you may be able to fit the chopped whole onion. -Add your skinned garlic cloves and about 10 peperoncinis. You will have to shove em in... If you like carrots, replace half the onion amount with baby carrots. (boil baby carrots for about 10 min before stuffing) -Salt again with your rub and add another splash of olive oil. Take the two "gizzard chute" flaps and fold up to cover. -I like to let the bird "lay in state" for at least 1 hour before cooking. On the grill: If you use a Weber; make two nice mounds of coal on the left and right. Keep the mounds thin but high. (about 25 per side) You want to cook indirectly - off the flame. Get fire hot but controlled and place the bird BREAST UP in the center. (grab by legs) You do not want to burn the skin, you want to brown it. Adjust fire accordingly. after one full hour of cooking, rotate grill so legs are where neck was - half turn. Add in a cup of pre-soaked hickory chips. Cook another hour watching heat. Gas grill: Cook in center using heat from outside burners -Depending on weight and temp, it has never taken me longer than 3 hours. 2:15 is average. -Grab the bird with hot hands by the body NOT the legs! *Watch the legs. When the legs drop and skin stretches/slightly rips you are done* *A turkey can cook for up to 20 minutes after leaving the fire, do not over cook* I believe a grilled turkey has less "sleepy stuff" too. Serve with a nice Chardonnay or Lodi Zin! Carve, eat, burp, fart, poop, sleep, repeat! Happy Thanksgiving, TDFB This recipe came from a 98 Rocker! I've been perfecting and varying for almost 3 years now. My wife calls it a Potato Bake. What you will need: Foil, 1 - glass casserole dish, 2 - med pots, 3 - 14oz cans of green beans (I like fresh better), 2 - 14oz cans of peas, 1 - 6oz can of fried onions, 1 red onion, 5 gloves garlic, 3 red tomato, bacon bits, pepper, Parmesan cheese (can is fine), Italian salad dressing, 2lbs of bacon, 1.5lbs of shredded Colby Jack cheese, and 8-10 servings of instant potatoes. (I hate real mashed potatoes) -Add to pot; A couple of big squirts of dressing, skin and thinly slice garlic, quartered tomatoes, 2 - quarters onion. -On med-high heat start reducing above ingredients, add 3 cans of beans when tomatoes start to soup, pepper. -Liberal dusting of Parmesan and bacon bits. Add another 3-4 big squirts of dessing, stir and let simmer covered on med. (canned beans are quicker, fresh take about an hour) -Microwave 10-12 strips of bacon (micro bacon is the best) do NOT over cook, oven will finish. -Remove excess fat from bacon -Shred cheese -Prepare spuds -Cover caserole dish with cooked spuds evenly -Drain and add peas over top of spuds -Add cooked beans by scooping from pot (don't pour in extra juice) -Add bacon strips -Add fried onions -Add shredded cheese Cover with foil and bake at 350 for about 20-30 minutes. All you are doing basically is melting the cheese. Cut in to squares and use spatula to serve. Eat, burp, fart, poop, sleep, repeat! Happy Thanksgiving, TDFB
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Baby Got Back Ribs:

2 - slabs of pork baby back ribs 1 - can of pineapple juice (46 oz) 1 - 20 ounce bottle of Kikkoman Teriyaki sauce (not glaze) Quarter ribs, place in LARGE pot. Add pineapple and teriyaki. Add a splash of your favorite hot sauce, a healthy dusting of black pepper, oregano, and crushed red peeper. Bring to a boil. Reduce to low instantly! Let simmer for about an hour to hour and 15 minutes. You want the ribs gray and soft.  Place in pan or rack; let cool. In large baggy or bowl with lid, add your favorite bbq sauce and a few big squirts of honey. Knead around with hands and get em all goopy. Place on low fire grill to LIGHTLY brown (no longer than 15 min) and bake on sauce while adding remaining sauce!   I don’t care what anyone says about boiling ribs – DO IT! We’re not in Kansas City, we don’t cook on old water heaters, or have 3 days to wait for dinner! Eat, burp, fart, repeat! As always; lots of cold beer and naked women that resemble Kim K are mandatory!   Happy 4th TDFB
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Shrimp In a Blanket

People LOVE these things, figure on 3-5 per person!
 
You can buy shelled and deveined/precooked - but I think fresh are best if you want to do the work...
 
0) Soak desired amount of toothpicks in water 20/30 minutes prior cooking (just in case)
 
1) Shell, devein, clean, and pat dry large shrimp/prawns
 
2) Trim fat from bacon slices (depending on prefference) then half or third cut bacon slices. The more bacon the better and the more bacon the more manly. Don't skimp on the bacon... Roll shrimp in bacon just like a pig in a blanket. Use toothpick (through shrimp center) to fasten... I think Farmer John is the worlds most superior pig strip!
 
3)  In bowl; mix about a cup of favorite BBQ sauce with 3 tablespoons of honey. Add a splash (or two) of Kikkoman teriyaki sauce. Mix well!
 
4) Off flame - lower heat (250-275 tops) place shrimp on grill, start brushing sauce. Continue rolling/turning shrimp with basting every time. You want to cook the bacon, not burn it. When bacon is to your liking, so are the shrimp. Cook time about 20 minutes. Make sure you slather on lots of sauce!
 
5) Let cool, leave toothpick. Although you'll want to, don't eat toothpick!
 
As always: Real men cook on charcoal, never wear safety goggles, have plenty of cold beer handy and naked women dancing!
 
Eat, drink, burp, fart, repeat!
 
TDFB 
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Just The Tip; Recipe

1 - untrimmed tri-tip
 
7- large skinned garlic cloves
 
1/8 large red onion
 
3 - tablespoons stone ground mustard (Plochmans is great)
 
4 heaping tablespoons of Pappy's seasoning
 
1/2 cup burgundy wine
 
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil and nice splash of Worcestershire sauce
 
Pierce holes in top of tri-tip (non fat side) I don't care what anyone says about hole-poking the meat - do it!
Lightly salt and pepper both sides of tip... Mix all above ingredients (minus the tip) in to blender.
Blend to puree. Pour marinade in to Ziploc, place tri-tip inside baggy. Squeeze and knead for about 5 minutes, done! Let tip marinade for at least 4 hours. (same day cooking leave on counter) It's best to do before bed or early in the morning. If you marinate overnight, remove from refer and place tip with open baggy on counter for at least 4 hours prior grilling.     
 
Grill temp 350 - 375. Be a man and use charcoal. Cook indirectly (fire on one side) Place tip over fire for 7-10 minutes (fat side up) Flip for an additional 5-7 minutes (fat down) Grill for appearence, then move to off-flame for remaining 40ish minutes or so... With tri-tip, a weller done tip ALWAYS has more flavor! You want the meat to have a "ring." The outer char is what holds the flavor. ALWAYS cut a tri-tip LONG ways against the grain, cutting it this way really does make for a more tender finish. Tri-tip also loses the "red" after cutting, so if you like it a little rare, slice while cooking to get a small peak!
 
Hickory smoking chips (about a cup) with Kingsford work really well. Mesquite is good but a bit hot and sweet.
 
Always have tons of cold beer and naked women dancing while you grill. Make sure your wife is out of town - I'm kidding.
 
Drink, eat, burp, fart, repeat!
 
TDFB
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A Well Balanced Breakfast

(Yes! It's A Bacon Bra)

BaconBra

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Respect My Meat

Try this Tip: Take one quarter (1/4) of a red onion (bigger the better) 5 large skinned garlic cloves 1 TEASPOON of black ground pepper 1 TEASPOON of salt, sea or otherwise (or substitute with 2 TABLESPOONS of favorite seasoning) 2 TABLESPOONS of Worcestshire sauce 1 TABLESPOON Teriyaki sauce 1 TABLESPOON olive oil Half cup (1/2) of Burgundy wine (or other cooking Red) 1 big squirt of yellow mustard (2 TABLESPOONS of stone ground works best) Combine ALL ingredients in to blender. Blend on high to puree, forming a thin paste that is pourable. Take your UNTRIMMED tri tip and poke holes with pitchfork or knife. YES! poke holes. I don't care what any chef says, it does not waste the meat's natural juices. And if it does, you're replacing it with new one's!!! Place tri tip in LARGE zip-lock and pour in ALL of the marinade. Remove all air and knead with hands. Toss it in the refer for atleast 6 hours. No more than 10! Before cooking; let the tip rest/age with baggy open on counter for ATLEAST 2 hours! ALWAYS SLICE YOUR COOKED TRI TIP LONG WAYS. SLICE THE LENGTH - NOT THE WIDTH! It's one of the most common serving mistakes in the world of tri tip. Long slices make for a more tender bite. Don't question it - just DO IT! Get piss-your-pants drunk and have a Happy Memorial Day! TDFB
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This Bird Is The Word

turkeyWhat you need: One Turkey any size (thawed of course) Your favorite poultry seasoning, black pepper, paprika, parsley, oregano, 10 garlic gloves, half red onion, 10 peperoncini's, about 2 cups virgin olive oil, hickory wood chips, and a bbq! Preparation: Take thawed bird and clean thoroughly. Remove and discard all gizzard parts and neck. Place bird (back down) on large pan/cookie sheet. Chop half onion - then quarter, remove skin from garlic cloves, get pepperoncini's ready. Season entire bird with a liberal (sorry McCain) dusting of poultry salt. Lightly dust entire bird with paprika, oregano, parsley, and black pepper. You want the bird to have a festive color! Next, pour on 1.5 cup(s) olive oil and massage in oil, hitting every crevasse, in between wings, legs, everywhere! You want your seasoning/oil to cover the ENTIRE bird. Really rub in the seasoning, your hands will wash! Everything that runs off - scrape up and put on bird. Put produce in the naughty hole, add 1/2 cup olive oil and hand full of your poultry seasoning. Stuff your hand (or whatever else you want) in there and rub around! Wash hands and repeat a light dusting with poultry seasoning. On the Grill: Soak 1 pint glass of hickory chips before lighting! Cook indirectly! On a Weber; coal separators work best. If not, make two piles on the left and right side (about 30 coals per side) Get coal light white and controlled flame. Add wood chips. Place bird in middle OFF of the flame. Rotate bird (half turn every 30 minutes) You want it to be a golden to dark brown color, not BLACK! Depending on size and temp, this bird will only need about 2.5 hours on the grill. If you want to cook lower and slower that is fine too. I've found the longer it cooks the tougher... If you use a therm, temp should be about 350-370. If your bird has a therm you can leave it in. If not, when the legs drop and skin cracks it is ready!! On a Weber with liftable grates, you can add coal if needed. On a gay grill, I mean gas grill: Same thing! Hopefully you have 3 or more burners to keep bird off of flame. Most gas grills have chip trays, keep the chips damp! After removing bird from grill (with oven mitts) cover in foil or place in oven for about 30 minutes before cutting (if cooked properly) Slice, serve, eat, burp, fart, repeat! Smoked turkey goes great with a Lodi Zin, light Cab, chilled Riesling, or other light white. Always wear protective riding gear. Welding mask optional. Kiss the Cook logo on apron should be below the belt. Drinking Wild Turkey while cooking turkey is a true tradition. Real mashed potatoes and homemade stuffing suck! Happy Thanksgiving, TDFB
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