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Earache MY EAR!

The Super Bowl may be the most famous sports event in America, but it's about as manly as breaking a nail on your handbag clasp: They wear armor to protect themselves, they take breaks every 30 seconds, and they've got more hospital equipment on the sidelines than an army of diabetic grandparents. The uniforms might as well include frilly panties, and to prove it, here are six sports whose players could force Jerome Bettis to wear them.   It sounds like something the bullies administer in the first 10 minutes before the wimpy kid learns kung fu, but it's one of the toughest sports in the Eskimo Olympics. 1. The Eskimo Ear Pull And the Eskimo Olympics make every other sporting event in the world look like a Hugging Competition. Living at minus-40 Fahrenheit in an environment where "forgetting to close the door fully" can kill your entire family in their sleep makes for tougher people, in the same way building robots out of titanium and wrapping them in Arnold Schwarzenegger makes for tougher soldiers. The Ear Pull is basically a tug-of-war where you're trying to rip pieces of the other guy's face off -- using the same pieces of yours. Wires are tied between the competitors ears and they pull backward. The first one to cry "uncle" is the loser, but still tougher than the 5.9999999 billion people who don't play Eskimo Ear Pull.


06/15/2010 11:33AM
Earache MY EAR!
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