What you need:
One Turkey any size (thawed of course)
Your favorite poultry seasoning, black pepper, paprika, parsley, oregano, 10 garlic gloves, half red onion, 10 peperoncini's, about 2 cups virgin olive oil, hickory wood chips, and a bbq!
Take thawed bird and clean thoroughly. Remove and discard all gizzard parts and neck. Place bird (back down) on large pan/cookie sheet. Chop half onion - then quarter, remove skin from garlic cloves, get pepperoncini's ready.
Season entire bird with a liberal (sorry McCain) dusting of poultry salt. Lightly dust entire bird with paprika, oregano, parsley, and black pepper. You want the bird to have a festive color! Next, pour on 1.5 cup(s) olive oil and massage in oil, hitting every crevasse, in between wings, legs, everywhere! You want your seasoning/oil to cover the ENTIRE bird. Really rub in the seasoning, your hands will wash! Everything that runs off - scrape up and put on bird. Put produce in the naughty hole, add 1/2 cup olive oil and hand full of your poultry seasoning. Stuff your hand (or whatever else you want) in there and rub around!
Wash hands and repeat a light dusting with poultry seasoning.
On the Grill:
Soak 1 pint glass of hickory chips before lighting!
Cook indirectly! On a Weber; coal separators work best. If not, make two piles on the left and right side (about 30 coals per side) Get coal light white and controlled flame. Add wood chips. Place bird in middle OFF of the flame. Rotate bird (half turn every 30 minutes) You want it to be a golden to dark brown color, not BLACK! Depending on size and temp, this bird will only need about 2.5 hours on the grill. If you want to cook lower and slower that is fine too. I've found the longer it cooks the tougher... If you use a therm, temp should be about 350-370. If your bird has a therm you can leave it in. If not, when the legs drop and skin cracks it is ready!! On a Weber with liftable grates, you can add coal if needed.
On a gay grill, I mean gas grill: Same thing! Hopefully you have 3 or more burners to keep bird off of flame. Most gas grills have chip trays, keep the chips damp!
After removing bird from grill (with oven mitts) cover in foil or place in oven for about 30 minutes before cutting (if cooked properly) Slice, serve, eat, burp, fart, repeat!
Smoked turkey goes great with a Lodi Zin, light Cab, chilled Riesling, or other light white.
Always wear protective riding gear. Welding mask optional. Kiss the Cook logo on apron should be below the belt. Drinking Wild Turkey while cooking turkey is a true tradition. Real mashed potatoes and homemade stuffing suck!