Birth Rape

Monday, March 20th

00:30:21

Transcription

I think ER do you got next. Sorry you ran really in the. Yeah. Is it too late for a birthday. Eyes on Adrien turns eight today. And he loves the birthday sonong. Neighbors say it and yeah. Or this next topic I'm pleading ignorance and recusing myself entirely. I allowed to only as the host and the questioner because this is way out of Miley her let's I guess start with. As I forgot how I wanted to present this because this thing has blown up online over the last many days. So before we get to what they're talking about I wanna start with the only person to my knowledge that is given birth on the show Brandon that this. I mean you're you're low around persons are what is it is tough Amanda and Apple's included giving birth I want and six years ago. Yes sick so why if I came to you. God forbid I knocked my girlfriend up. And I came to you might month nine she was. And a guard. Before you check out I know you're like OK I want nothing to do this to come if I was influenced by bump nine. She's gone through the whole pregnancy. But now as birth time I say the man that preparing for what she's in for. How would you define based on your your loan experience of giving birth what childbirth is like the actual process of being in the hospital and giving birth. That her. I mean it it is it painful is it awful is it beautiful as it intrusive visit. Mesmerized. Multiple people to be in the room looking at every. Or to set up your body and things. That's that's been happening to this a new happy men and women or men and women your Noelle you're. Not gonna care about beating naked. In front of people because the your chest and it's just gonna happen how many people would you estimate from foreign shed did you feel violated during that mills. Now. But it's just send it dean if you will. I don't tend to be improved purse and I don't really care about being naked in front of people. But if you worry about typed purse and Dag just get ready to prepare yourself if I mean there's gonna be all kinds and check in and look in and bought kind of stuff. You doing really need to Wear a. And medical down so here's my ignorance is and I. It is Alan my ignorance in my insensitivity is a man. When I hear that description I go wall that's childbirth. They're medical professionals. So what I mean it it. I don't that that's my initial reaction my reaction that it is there is sick and it's very much the same because your hospital I mean when you're in the hospital he kind of expects to be that way right yeah I mean I look I am I I'm not suggesting comparing the two big men get violated to a medical places and hospitals this is a totally different experience. But so far might well isn't that what we need to do to get the baby out of yeah. But are suggesting that like a more. Conservative. Or prudish whatever word we want a label on person who's gonna be is gonna feel violated that. So when he weighed me you are pregnant and you're going to your doctor dear BG blank check at things you go to your doctor they check you. It's pretty much is your doctor but when you're there on that day. Yeah multiple nurses. Eat meat I mean the doctor meteor doctors not dared to be so there's going to be another doctor so there are lots of people with their hands inside you. And then I remember being worried about going number two when it was finally. Time the bush I mean a lot of women I know that dot bike is a thing that they think about. And by the time you're there you're not even in the care it happened to me it did then they discuss the think of any age that a zillion times. So that so many women worry that that's gonna happen but by the time you're actually there are doing it. You have been poked prodded opened up and every any everything it just you don't care anymore. So. Is this. Is this a man woman thing in this sense I I've had two back surgeries in the last five years. I had multiple women that I never met nurses I was totally naked because then that's how I had to be. I knew that they could see me no I wasn't awake while they were poking and prodding me. But I again I'm having a disconnect. No you know big deal no because he just think about. EE SOK you're naked in front of them but you're not they're not giving you there they're the finger exam no they're not the right so that that would be a little bit different of if multiple people are coming in. And I'm not talking about just a finger examines how about their whole anti union you know but multiple people so there's a little bit different accountability. I did not in any way mean to equate the Tutsis the only experience I've had yet know it just trying to save your soap box today and where I don't think you would even be capable. No laurel woman who hasn't given like a woman who has it reversed and kind of knows we need audio BGY and then you know there's two people around them are Matt small level. But like. I don't think it would be anything you could equate to like no offense but. Because they sent me why areas much more private than anything you guys got going on. You guys are pretty much expose all the time get this thing is to noticing yours is there. You take your pick there you know you gotta light spread to CD sayings. And they go look it is right so let's just see right through that all our lives like you do and they we. Actually aren't invaded in the closer you get his or after forty or fifty prostate exam but we don't get invaded. So do you describe really it was it was surgery doesn't sound anywhere in the year. Or what they're going to fan and I was like our error trying to compare it to you know I know an interviewer and an ignorant fool just a level of like commandos that intimacy because. Again if you having given birth eight. You can only hear how horrified that would sound like eight. Just because your stupid exams you have but of course giving birth all those people there is like a million times different he's going to get us some. Pap smear back to my original question and what did all the Jews dawns word on how she managed well would you describe childbirth this horrifying. The process. I don't I say it don't I wish that I have had Merck multiple labor's. It's you compared it to because I've only given birth to balance it is it was extremely dramatic and horrible why. I am so I was almost two weeks overdue. Which clip. It's stress on my son already he had to cord around his. His neck umbilical cord yap and. IA. That it and that my body was not and doing what it was supposed to do so I literally had they had they had to Paul Blake here can I say. So you just did the. Bill awaiting a year going into labor years it well before even though and labor your suit servant is supposed to. Stuff and it's supposed to move up it's supposed to face get like small oral except. Mine didn't do any of that excuse is only one I got there they had a poll it let me just say this just really. Marbled and the other thing is. I'm super sensitive to any type. Drugs so I do want them to give me. The full dose of whatever kind of loopy currency debuted because lot of usually yeah I didn't as they gave me half the dose single natural you said. Mean not as much well I didn't know what it was going to be like a distant I had Knoll group. I had nothing to gauge and offer our and I went down or on not a lot of before you call morons financing to gauge or not. And so I didn't and I didn't have a birth plan so I originally did not want to get an epidural because I was so afraid of the needle going in between the spinal cord and pulling me out of hand them analyst guy yapping so they started might be toast in which is what makes you start having a hard contraction the. And and it broke my water and all that stuff well in the normal course of labor. Your body starts with you know smaller contractions and builds up and builds up and you you be your body has kind of build up only mule are induced. They give you got shot and I'll listen and you are having hard contractions and there's an in your body doesn't have to frame to. You know gear up for the pain so when that might not first really heavy heart contraction happen. I want did you jump out of mice skin I started crying I'm not a right. I it was it was horrible so then I was like OK I needed that ravaged I need that Powell's. I'm not gonna be able LeMay and I don't think I've put it been able to make it so horrifying. As for me yes I bet my right that labor's I had is not I don't think typical how long we only remember. Were you told. Ball I was having contractions the night before I went in and then I didn't have him and told. To shoot thirty even at 240 the next day. I so fourteen at least hours at least maybe more like twenty phone numbers 88899 idealism there's there's a reason I bring this up as I mentioned there's this thing going viral over. All childbirth. Because every woman's experience is different so that's why I wanted to just get Amanda's version and then we'll tell you what they're claiming it is and we'll talk about it hello there Elizabeth good morning. Good mourn little high yeah I actually bolster its emergence eating actions but I went through labor both high end they'll gain me. Speeds one of the things that I relate with most of my likes children and it will agree Labor Day experience they've led. They really didn't want to I guess poke and prod and see how far I went reliever Gary can be in the beverage can and action. Don't be I guess in the front part or that part where you know somebody who blew open where conservatives might you know eat in. You know violated repeatedly coming to a point where you're kind of readied a course and that he is really starting to come out. Would you still have would you still say that is an invasive process to give birth or would you say no it's just medically necessary. I'm a little bit of both and and again like you that it's everywhere and experience are going to be very very different both of my eight. Both of my children to experience as we're being very different even though technically I have an emergency C section what brought. And I definitely felt invaded the second time around a bit more just because they're a much longer labor before they finally decided to do this infection. But with my first time experience. I I was kind of command that really didn't hate her I would suggest OK let's let's do you replicate that and I saw over the last. You know what this reminds you have of win. All the years and only people that have been pregnant this is another area where it summary can be so Jack GE because not all. Not all Burris is the same you know oh well mine was so easy. A little you know my just popped out it was no big deal would be talking about what do you mean it was terrible thing it's. Another person's like Hamels did I eat it it was terrible. The play I don't know it's so you'd let some mistakes a blanket statement that giving birth is beautiful. I don't think they've heard the horror stories of people other like it was nothing but. Was actually talking to a friend over the weekend because a we had a discussion last week about the sector means and of course dawn had to immediately demeaning and what babies they are and I brought up why no man and literally to work over the stuff and he's after the and my friend says it's the same thing as childbirth with women not equating the two procedures at all but the way we experience things there are exactly that are willing to say it's. Easy the problem is we call them slots all. Want to say it was horrifying yet and he says the same is that yeah there's men who need a couple days off maybe the Milken to watch marked man March Madness made the policies but there's other men go. No big deal all of these procedures whatever it is the Europe for. Is it a personal thing or is there something more here which is what we're gonna get into. Well the other thing it dead. I didn't mention him by my aide. Labor and delivery was so dramatic is they've got my son was going to be seven pounds seven and a half pounds. From the way my stomach was measuring or whatever are either very long torso my son was nine pounds look. Announces date and 22. Inches and when I push on out Thanksgiving. What I should now he got what's called a green's stick fracture honest I was cool queens of the bone basically down all the way without breaking. Phones or soft enough and I got to staged to reach hair and ended up having to have a blood transfusion because I lost so much blood and then. After care par. You know I went home I they didn't. My my stitches in my stitches had all come out they send me home like that they didn't it was that part was like super super traumatic and after care are and that the blood transfusion and all that stuff hello Justin. Cafe Europa the bogey you end a dear dear I would say as far as the modesty are. Is concerned I would think it is similar to what they guy getting their man would cut off and they're all weeding out. And they're well they're all week here good in the room or who sees it bigger bigger jerk issue if there. Well you care you don't want by the time it happens you know how you'd. You don't have time to care about are you come from what this person they just have to go out there and check but it is there. That's why. I mean at least for me I think maybe because my body wasn't doing when it needed to be doing there was a lot of checking there are a lot of putting things in in mountain I was crazy minor. Your complications that you mentioned previously though manages them the quote unquote basic childbirth process. Would you would go back to the word invasive. Would it be fair to equate it to being raped. Being reaped what it. Doesn't make it too it is an attitude. There's a phrase that's been debated on wine. Ad nauseam birth rate. What which refers to the violations that women in America experienced during childbearing. Elk guide. The phrases been circulating on midwife and childbirth blogs for several years but is now gaining force course as here's how blog devoted the topic this blog is birth trauma truths describes the process of giving birth. All birth. This is the process of giving birth. A vulnerable woman who was powerless to leave the situation. Is held down against her will. As strangers looking and touching it private parts of her body with out appropriate measures being taken to acknowledge her ownership of her body. Hi she has fingers are instruments inserted without her consent. She is fearful what is happening to her and perhaps for the wellbeing of her baby around my guy these are all violations no matter how you look at our shot even if this treatment is given with no malice and intent. Of attempting to assist her with birthing her child. There is and never a reason to forgo common decency is sure will enable the woman to maintain a role in the birth. Some autonomy over her body. To be involved in the decision making to be informed about what they want to do before they do it now and quote from the blog there's more. But Amanda there's at. There's a combination of what you describe what they're describing. What they're suggesting is you should be consulted before they do any thing. I'm gonna put dissing you I'm gonna look at this and I wanna do this this is what's right Euro also describing this. Moment of just get this thing out of me that I did you have any empathy for what they're describing the this is the process of birth in general it's yeah. And what had charm so ridiculous to me I mean ailing. It it'd be nice if you have somebody that's telling me okay this is what we're doing now I don't need to be like consultant and how my opinion about what you know. All act kinda stuff just. Okay this is over and do. You know you might feel little. Tiger summit. ElBaradei I attacked is just ridiculous to me I don't need at its console. With this person and just do what you need to do to get my media out. Healthy so when I read this again as a man who is only a nested ties when I'm having a medical procedure of anything close at this level I thought well. I'm not being consulted on everything they're doing when they're cutting into my bat are doing it. Now I'm out I can't be consult that I Carty said do whatever you have to do so I don't know the difference is that your way. Or this is some kind of wet. Yeah she's women that feel bad that we don't have the problems of women in Third World countries. Okay that they need to look around and find it to issue civil women have a bearing at all for the Nintendo Wii has seen look at we're still held down and the way you'd only guide. The B get into that I want to screen your held down against your will verbal vulnerable don't know you you got pregnant unique you're gonna give birth and hospital or media only if bad. What about how when it right in saying Q you're still you're still tied up in your bag you wanna know why this for the safety your baby. Yeah you know what yes you given up everything in that. Absolutely you have that's cold motherhood this is your first step toward mother heard you dummies you are giving up your body to who that baby and that moment. So upbeat and because of that you are. Held captive I guess in that hospital room that hospital bed for the baby you bitches Osama. Tied back. Good morning anybody. I have been through three different labor delivery and all of them we're completely different my most recent one I did have a moment with the doctor. During a certain procedure that I felt she crossed the line and I'd I don't know I case sensitivity or hurt hair. In the way she treated it means to the point I was screaming campaign. But do you word rape is so extreme and fact checked. Flat and for the good of faith of people that have gone through that trauma. I mean I have used the word violated and I was very angry and not moment but I would never go so far as to describe it like that. Right to that point thank you Summers at least he to the other part of the article. Than people who use the phrase are aware that use of the word rape burglary. A rape in particular is controversial however here's another mommy blog called the naval gazing midwife. Get a life that argues finally it's perfectly okay. All about or shoes maybe not this for other quick. Argues that Rick is the right word all my god. Here's what they write it took decades to believe that rate could encourage marriage. Or that women could be rapists to. So expanding the definition to include birth rape will take a very long time. And eyes writes the author im sure many many years and a slew of failed lawsuit before anyone in legal system recognizes. Birth trauma as abuses much less birth rate. And quote you know I hope I'm dead bye and I just wanna check out of this world where are these are some embarrassed to be alone does it. I really think first rate is the wrong way to describe it can we may be called like bursts trauma. I wouldn't that be more acceptable they seemed to. If I'm doing my research correctly distinguish between the two we should notice at the end of that particular response she said. It will take years before and losses for anyone legal system recognizes birth trauma as much less birth rate. So birth traumas seem to be defined as may be kind of what Amanda went through complications. But it's all birth rate the way were doing okay. Okay you're supposed to go to the hospital and lay in bed and Edgar. Fiat and a stir at this is a part of giving birth and it did find her dynasty year end. If I'm correctly read what they write. There they would say something to the effect I'm not gonna do it properly but I'll try you are a victim. You are placing you you if you are if you say that's how it's supposed to be yearly victim mindset that doesn't that's not how it has to be had failure you shouldn't have things inserting you without you being told ahead. Then you Jenna got pregnant I mean these are these are the most self centered and selfish. Women because I am very sad that you have already giving yourself asking you pregnant would you have literally surrendered her body to another life. If you don't like that if you need to be causing controllers and neither did you weren't meant to be a mother and to be about at all because guess what they're also got to suck off the UN take away from each other eighteen and beyond because that's part of motherhood. Unruly guy who's another. Shouldn't have you here are bitter for the care of kids even if you haven't at home there's still people there telling you things you need to do with your body for the safety of the baby you're not even an equation. And again that's I think you've touched on the line that they would disagree with. They're telling you things to do with your body would be of their position. The BOK I'm a huge for your save me I'm just here to resolve all. I'm very excited just the baby it's all about them. Here's another person named. Catherine school she also has a blog at a pro mommy blog she says both childbearing. And sexual assaults are points in which despite all modern progress women's bodily functions and reproductive organs. Seemed to define them or take them actually trying more vulnerability. We can do better on numbers 8889899. You. Hate. Half I don't know all of that. That's what they do crazies like this they just put words together to acting in the world exactly. And they may think it sounds like Smart it made sense to me but I'm. I attached to it doesn't that I. Really can't how she's sane. Or. She's just click on personally heard we heard what you are. As vulnerable and giving Bourquin giving birth as you are on being raped that's the the simple way of what she's saying hello there'd Shannon good morning. Good morning anybody I. I would have to excuse the man that I'm very niche. I've given birth twice both times that it didn't fairly traumatic and fairly stressful but I wouldn't have called it great. We mentioned should particulate bringing tears and and if you have a Boston lose any kind of confident at all he's going to tell you at a time what they're going to do so. Yeah why I think if again if I'm doing my research correctly the you're absolutely right. The doctor and your OB GY and whatever they should prepare you beforehand what these particular people have a problem with and by the way they're not all women there are man who of course like that jump onto these proper process. On the hook who did it in their claim is that's not good enough. You're awake and an alert during the procedure they it's it's like I guess I they didn't use this analogy but your dental chair. Then I tell you what they're gonna do but during the process they also say OK I'm about give you shot this might sting a little bit don't necessarily do that during childbirth and their their. They're acting like it's undoubtedly. Urgency they're fighting the wrong battle honestly they should be fighting a battle for women. That give crappy hair during their pregnancy. That that the person isn't there will be Todd Goldberg is here. Crappy gas sorry because they're selfish and self absorbed a they would if they have stepped outside of themselves they would look at real issues and go you know what you're. So many women that have. Terrible care during pregnancy and aren't blocked through the process. And don't have access to good care. During their pregnancy I need to be that these are real issues that should be their issue as opposed to some made up self centered self absorbed it and guarded solo Christie. Hey good morning. I stared and forever like including labeling here and there's at this a couple of beautifully I have three very than they had three children. And and each birthday has this been drastically different but my first child in my a third child. Where. Both pretty traumatic I would consider they can be connection manic and I mean I don't know I guess that they're using the term. Byrd who rape and I. I have a hard time with that acts or words if they can be very traumatic and there were times. I am the person with my first where like I have an internal monitor inserted to monitor and handling their paths it. In his head won't be till late in no before he was ordered. I'm and I didn't know without was never hurt and there was a lot of pain and I don't know that I would be here if he were to do it here first thing that kind of stoic. I Philly it's a little. The kind of attacking. The permanent kind of harsh machine. It is caiso did you feel like we've we have a term on the show did you feel it was like a little raped beat. Yeah I would say yes I think it is the dark cricket so you can do you mean. And they are no they're constantly like if you didn't so routine for them better. It was announced yet your your you've done it once they've done it or three times in your case they've done a thousand and they're desensitized to Europe and. I don't OK so break beast to me it's just he can't it's in need that's not a word that. Should be used in the same sentence. I could see how you might feel violated if you're not being if you're not being told what to expect. And the just like she's saying those doctors they do go winning just start doing stuff and you have no idea especially if it's her first pregnancy or your personally Burke. You you don't know what to expect and they do just trying to do whatever. See you could feel a little violated every he is just not the word. Fermi that you should easily can't prepare you for everything that might happen because as we've discussed everyone's birthing is different. So if they have to suddenly insert something that you weren't expecting to be inserted a are they supposed to take a moment to say hey Amanda were about to do this and you know I don't know where they did their talking to you is that. I would think so but you know every doctor has different bedside manner and you can't expect that are all gonna have great bedside manner and I did have. When I was and eighteen mile like OBG. What ever just my check ups. I did have a male doctor they came and and he was. A ball he was absolutely horrible he didn't have a nurse in there with me he didn't even tell me I was gonna run a public eggs the end he just expected we need to know all these things like to know that this is what he's gonna do his bedside manner was horrible. Did guys are great key Null that I feel violated. Loaf. May have tired sometimes maybe got to stick that thing and then afterwards telling you she said later she found out. It was to monitor the baby and this is what my frustration of these women on this blog. Man and he blogs conservatives many bought the big viral thing now what where is your concern for the child because that's their concern of course she was well that would it make it through. But if they need to stick something incited you to monitoring your beat beat that's why ignored they error. I shot up. Do you sleep like what should they not do that at all. Should you say no I don't want my baby monitor because it's uncomfortable for me I don't wanna be violated its about you anymore. And I agreed on but I do you think for her but may be it wouldn't have helped if the doctors say the Bergen do best. And it might hurt a toll for the color titles blonde bitch is I have my nose of an apron and just in general with whatever it is you're going in for. A lot of bad is this what ever been there done that they think you're the same as the last person they just saw they sometimes treat each person. Exactly. Like bill and it off. Thousands they've already seen what what ever you go in for a meet the good fight that maybe fight for doctors to have a little more compassion and treat you like it's your first time LO marry their first time. Hi Inoa rape is by force. And against somebody's well you have a right to go into a hospital during a procedure and they know not gonna do it sorry I'm leaving him buy your spoke out. They're not being force they're not holding you hostage. To give birth the way you wanna give birth at how well they live. Here here's what I did it in the end and I spent way to much time yesterday reading these blogs. What they would argue I think again I don't mean to speak for them but somebody has simply give their point of view. Is they would agree with you up until the point that. Once the procedure starts again the woman is out of they say vulnerable and powerless. To leave the situation. And for the pop you're right legally but for the most part once labor starts you are vulnerable powerless you're not essay on out of your checking out what I wanna be and so you're at the whim of this doctor. Man or woman whose inserting things in you that you want to give Maine. Consent suing each and every case you've given broad consent for them do whatever they think is necessary but now other doing things that maybe. Maybe our remaining are overkill like this monitor that we were speaking of a few minutes ago well maybe it wasn't really necessary it's excessive caution you to shut on this thing inside of you. And that's wrong it's not rape you should be given the opportunity we'll take a break we'll be back. He's on show.